I fuck who I want, I don’t call back, and I tell them they can’t stay over. It takes me two months to convince Eric that sex is all I really want.  He’s fifteen years older, addicted to pills and owns an entire building downtown. I come over, fuck him, and leave to prove my point.

It always starts the same. He undresses me, orders me to the side of the bed and methodically eats me out, pussy and ass, for an hour. He doesn’t take his clothes off. I lay there exposed, not sure why I’m so excited. I don’t know yet about doms and subs, but this is definitely it. He yanks me to my knees and crashes into me from behind. I ask to stop for a cigarette, he smacks my ass hard and roars “You wanted to fuck, now fuck.” The pills make Eric paranoid.

He has guns hidden in every room of the house. More than anything I want him to load one and hold it to the back of my head when he fucks me. I never ask because I know he would do it.