We’re never in love with each other at the same time.

One of us is always in the middle of a bad choice.

Brendan is soft-spoken, sweet, shy. He only looks imposing, six and a half feet tall, heavy metal long hair, an on-and-off again drug habit. We’ve known each other so long that neither of us remembers quite how we met, but we’ve never managed more than a few clandestine kisses in all these years.

It’s like trying to fit the pieces from two different puzzles together. I’m engaged, alone, losing my shit, pulling it together. I need space, air, time.  He stops drinking, starts meth, gets a job, fired, in jail, here and gone again. He moves to Colorado in the middle of the night. It’s never the right time.

After another long absence, Brendan materializes one day. I’m sitting at my friend’s kitchen table, and there he is, filling the doorway. He’s put back on all the pre-meth weight, acquired more tattoos, a goatee. We hug, he blushes, our hands tangling under the table as everyone catches up. We’re both single. He invites me to his new place, within walking distance of a yet another new factory job. Continue reading

As we dress for the club, Mister simply says “No panties.”

He doesn’t elaborate.  It unnerves me to wear even less than the fishnet top and the teensy black skirt I have on. Mister gestures towards the pair of fishnets in my hand. I pass them over, he rips a hole in the crotch, then gives them back to me. I wriggle into them, then pull on a pair of black knee high boots. Mister fastens a belt made of restraint cables around his black kilt. A little rubber whip dangles from one side. “Let’s go,” says Mister.

The club is packed. Music throbs like a giant heartbeat, the cigarette smoke swells and recedes like a collective deep breath. Mister heads for the bar, knowing to bring me a vodka and cranberry juice. I stand in the corner alone and wait, still feeling shy after years of being nothing but background noise. Odd to think only a year ago leaving the top button on my blouse open felt too revealing.

Mister sneaks up behind a short pretty blonde at the bar, yanking her hair hard. She turns angrily to see Mister standing there. She brightens,  kissing him long and deep as he runs his hands across her breasts. The bartender stands there a moment holding the drinks, then sets them on the bar, moving on. Mister talks to the blonde a moment, gestures towards me, grabs the drinks and leaves. Continue reading

I call Dave at work and tell him I have a flat tire.

He’s the only one I can think of that might be able to leave work to come help me. I occasionally fuck his boss, so it shouldn’t be a problem for him to leave. I tell him I’m stuck. I need help with the flat, but I’m broke. I don’t even own a jack. I’m stranded in the next town over after a one night stand and I need to get to work. I know what it’ll cost, but I’m hoping he won’t ask.

“You know what I want,” he breathes into the phone. He’s been trying to fuck me for months, but I keep dodging him. Dave has a bit of a reputation for his fucking abilities, he’s got girls lined up to sleep with him, but I’m not attracted to him. It drives him crazy and he won’t stop hounding me.

“Fine,” I huff, considering my limited options.  “Just get over here.”

I sit on the curb and chain smoke cigarettes for the next half hour. Dave pulls up, dressed in a suit and tie. I watch him neatly fold his jacket and place it in his van. He leers at me and I make a face. I ask him if his boss gave him any shit about leaving, Dave says I owe his boss one too. “Tell him it won’t be today, ” I sigh, “I gotta get to work.” Continue reading

I tell Theo if he wants me to fuck his ass, he needs to suck my cock first.

He obediently crawls across the bed, looking at me like a tiger ready to pounce on fresh meat. I brush the mass of curls away from his eyes, pushing his head towards the big red dildo protruding from my pussy. Eagerly, he licks the tip, then takes the whole cock into his mouth. I gasp, I can feel the end inside me pushing against all the right places. I tell him he might suck dick better than I do. Theo laughs and says he’s had a lot of practice, which sends an electric surge straight to my pussy.

Idly, I watch him blow me for a while, then I ask if there’s any foreplay he wants. Theo tells me he would love it if I lick his ass. I’ve never done that before, it’s one of the rare things that I consider taboo. I hesitate, but his excitement overrides my apprehension. We showered together right before we came into the bedroom, so I know he’s clean. I tell him maybe, but  I want to scope it out a bit first. Theo gets on his knees, resting his head against a stack of pillows. I spread his ass cheeks and sniff, trying not to giggle. I kiss his balls, his buttocks, working into the idea. I moisten a finger tip and rub the pink creases surrounding his anus. Theo shudders with pleasure. I tentatively give his ass a flick with my tongue. So far, so good. Continue reading