I have a terrible secret.

I’m a sex blogger that hasn’t been getting laid.

It’s not that I don’t have a partner, we’re both busy and the last few months have been filled with deadlines, travel, nasty colds. A long cold winter has made us both moody and cranky. Nick will roll over, ask me if I feel like having sex. “Eh,”  I’ll say. I’m too tired or else I’m too wound up. I’ll bite the back of his neck while he’s typing away, he’ll shudder with pleasure, kiss me, then go back to his work. We’re both to blame. My senses have dulled and I’m afraid they won’t recover.

A writing opportunity arrives in my inbox. Generally, I’m against writing fiction, especially anything longer than a few paragraphs, but this project intrigues me. I’m ready for a challenge,  I decide to write down my deepest, darkest fantasy, so deep and dark that I’ve never even revealed it to Nick. I spent a day thinking about every facet of my fantasy, right down to the color of the floor. Then I commit it to words. For the next few days all I do is write, take a porn break, masturbate, then churn out another thousand words. My mind has become feverish, forcing all these characters to do exactly what I want them to do. I’m a Domme on paper, cruel and merciless. Masturbation is one thing, now I want a fucking, brutal and dirty. Continue reading

“I’ve been fisted once,” I say, “accidentally.”

“Accidentally?” Jay cocks a skeptical eyebrow.

“Boyfriend from a long time ago,” I explain. “He was fingering me and kept adding fingers until…whoops! I don’t know who was more surprised. Anyway, it frightened us both and kinda killed the mood. We didn’t know it was a ‘thing.’ We thought we did something wrong.”

“Let me fist you,” Jay says, “the right way.”

I’m feeling adventurous and horny, so I agree. Jay lubes up, completely coating his hand up to his wrist. His hand suddenly looks enormous. “Just two fingers for now,” Jay says. I’m surprised to find that I’m tense. Usually two fingers are no problem, but he has to work them in. I adjust the pillow behind my head. I can’t seem to get comfortable,  my neck aches with tension.

“Have I ever hurt you?” Jay asks. I tell him no, of course not. “Relax and trust me then,” he replies, “this will really be okay.” I feel a third finger slide in, I start to breathe deep to relax. I stop fighting it, I try to let my mind drift. I start thinking about being tied up and fucked, pretending his fingers are a giant cock…I squirt a little– now I’m definitely relaxed. Continue reading