“I know someone who would fuck you right now,” says Ben.

I’ve spent the afternoon lamenting about my lack of fucking lately. Ben’s my roommate, even though we fuck now and then, he doesn’t count.

“Who?” I sit up, interested. I snap off the television and give him my full attention.

“Jones,” he answers with a smirk.

“Get the fuck out of here!” I shriek, throwing a pillow at him.

Jake Jones is the drummer for my friend’s band. Everyone else in the band goes for the “metal” look: skimpy goatees and long greasy hair. Jones possesses soft black curls and brilliant green eyes, baby-faced and adorable. He’s the one the groupies anxiously hang around the stage for, squealing when he takes off his sweaty t-shirt halfway through the set. He’s never treated me as anything more than one of the guys. Honestly, he’s so far out of my league looks-wise that I’ve never even fantasized about fucking him before. Continue reading

It’s the weekend, we’re all hanging out at Eric’s place.

Eric’s rich, at least by our standards. He lived in Vegas and worked as a mortgage loan-something-or-other. Whatever he did, it’s far beyond our comprehension. No one really knows why Eric moved back either, although I suspect it has something to do with pills and that his sister is a doctor here.

Eric bought an entire building downtown, something also beyond our comprehension. Once, I overheard him tell his brother-in-law that he only paid eighty grand for the whole place, they both laughed and I didn’t know why. It’s a four story building, the top three floors are one giant apartment.  I don’t fuck him just because he lives here, but it doesn’t hurt either. Continue reading

Eric’s not home.

The four of us- me, Ben, Dave and Manny, look for the key to his back door. Ben lifts up a potted, wilting fern. “There we go,” he says, unlocking the door and swinging it wide open. The guys think it’ll be funny to take naked pictures of me and stash them around Eric’s apartment. I’m not sure what’s so funny about it, but I don’t care enough to ask. Eric’s my latest fuck buddy, the other three are in his death metal band.

I sit on Eric’s bed while the three of them argue about how to pose me. When I peel off my jeans and panties, the argument stops.  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I snap, “you’ve all seen me naked before. Get over it.” It takes a minute for them to all realize what I mean. Manny blushes and laughs nervously. Ben snorts and chugs a beer.

I agreed to let them photograph me, mostly because they bet I wouldn’t. Ben knows exactly how empty I am and exploits it at every opportunity. It was probably his idea.  I’m not self conscious. I’ve gone beyond that somehow. Dressed, naked. I don’t care either way. I hit bottom five floors ago and I just kept falling. I’ve fucked each of them at least once within the past few weeks. I even fucked Dave right here in Eric’s bed.  Eric said he didn’t care, he even encouraged it.  Crazy seems to be the new aphrodisiac. Continue reading

Ben has been my best friend for years.

Everyone thought we would end up as a couple, but we didn’t even date. Ben’s been there for more break-ups than I can count, this time it’s a divorce. I’m still living with my soon to be ex-husband. It’s horrible, we never stop fighting. I call Ben to come get me. I need air. An hour later, I hear his car pull in. As I get in his car, he shakes a cigarette loose from his pack of Camels, lights it for me. He’s put some thought into his appearance, a white button down shirt, newly pressed khakis. I tease Ben, tell him he looks nice for once. Playfully, he punches my arm, we laugh. He says we’ll go to Mac’s, it’s a new place he’s found.

We eat oversized cheeseburgers, shoot endless rounds of nine ball. I glance into the mirror behind the bar to find him staring at me. I lose count of the beers. I mumble something about not wanting to go home yet, so he takes me to his place. Ben carries me into the house.“Where’s Laura?” I ask sleepily. Ben says she’s pulling a double at the hospital, she won’t be back for hours.

I wait in the living room while he mixes another drink. He sits on the couch, I lay my head in his lap, drifting in and out of sleep. Ben tentatively kisses me, I pull him in and kiss back. We tumble onto the floor, arms, legs, lips. I nod when he asks if I want to go in the bedroom. Pushing aside a pile of Laura’s laundry, he guides me onto the rumpled floral sheets. Continue reading