It’s the weekend, we’re all hanging out at Eric’s place.

Eric’s rich, at least by our standards. He lived in Vegas and worked as a mortgage loan-something-or-other. Whatever he did, it’s far beyond our comprehension. No one really knows why Eric moved back either, although I suspect it has something to do with pills and that his sister is a doctor here.

Eric bought an entire building downtown, something also beyond our comprehension. Once, I overheard him tell his brother-in-law that he only paid eighty grand for the whole place, they both laughed and I didn’t know why. It’s a four story building, the top three floors are one giant apartment.  I don’t fuck him just because he lives here, but it doesn’t hurt either. Continue reading

Eric’s not home.

The four of us- me, Ben, Dave and Manny, look for the key to his back door. Ben lifts up a potted, wilting fern. “There we go,” he says, unlocking the door and swinging it wide open. The guys think it’ll be funny to take naked pictures of me and stash them around Eric’s apartment. I’m not sure what’s so funny about it, but I don’t care enough to ask. Eric’s my latest fuck buddy, the other three are in his death metal band.

I sit on Eric’s bed while the three of them argue about how to pose me. When I peel off my jeans and panties, the argument stops.  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I snap, “you’ve all seen me naked before. Get over it.” It takes a minute for them to all realize what I mean. Manny blushes and laughs nervously. Ben snorts and chugs a beer.

I agreed to let them photograph me, mostly because they bet I wouldn’t. Ben knows exactly how empty I am and exploits it at every opportunity. It was probably his idea.  I’m not self conscious. I’ve gone beyond that somehow. Dressed, naked. I don’t care either way. I hit bottom five floors ago and I just kept falling. I’ve fucked each of them at least once within the past few weeks. I even fucked Dave right here in Eric’s bed.  Eric said he didn’t care, he even encouraged it.  Crazy seems to be the new aphrodisiac. Continue reading

For one entire year I decide to fuck like a man.

I fuck who I want, I don’t call back, and I tell them they can’t stay over. It takes me two months to convince Eric that sex is all I really want.  He’s fifteen years older, addicted to pills and owns an entire building downtown. I come over, fuck him, and leave to prove my point.

It always starts the same. He undresses me, orders me to the side of the bed and methodically eats me out, pussy and ass, for an hour. He doesn’t take his clothes off. I lay there exposed, not sure why I’m so excited. I don’t know yet about doms and subs, but this is definitely it. He yanks me to my knees and crashes into me from behind. I ask to stop for a cigarette, he smacks my ass hard and roars “You wanted to fuck, now fuck.” The pills make Eric paranoid.

He has guns hidden in every room of the house. More than anything I want him to load one and hold it to the back of my head when he fucks me. I never ask because I know he would do it.