Eric’s not home.

The four of us- me, Ben, Dave and Manny, look for the key to his back door. Ben lifts up a potted, wilting fern. “There we go,” he says, unlocking the door and swinging it wide open. The guys think it’ll be funny to take naked pictures of me and stash them around Eric’s apartment. I’m not sure what’s so funny about it, but I don’t care enough to ask. Eric’s my latest fuck buddy, the other three are in his death metal band.

I sit on Eric’s bed while the three of them argue about how to pose me. When I peel off my jeans and panties, the argument stops.  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I snap, “you’ve all seen me naked before. Get over it.” It takes a minute for them to all realize what I mean. Manny blushes and laughs nervously. Ben snorts and chugs a beer.

I agreed to let them photograph me, mostly because they bet I wouldn’t. Ben knows exactly how empty I am and exploits it at every opportunity. It was probably his idea.  I’m not self conscious. I’ve gone beyond that somehow. Dressed, naked. I don’t care either way. I hit bottom five floors ago and I just kept falling. I’ve fucked each of them at least once within the past few weeks. I even fucked Dave right here in Eric’s bed.  Eric said he didn’t care, he even encouraged it.  Crazy seems to be the new aphrodisiac. Continue reading

Damon walks into the restaurant while I’m waiting tables.

Guillermo, the owner, has warned me about having visitors show up while I’m working. Damon waits for me by the back door. I hand my order off to Mirna, the cook. I gesture towards the door and tell her I’ll be back in uno momento. “I no like that boy,” she hisses in broken English across the kitchen. She says it every time and always makes sure it’s loud enough for Damon to hear.

“I got it!” Damon says, waving around a piece of paper. I unfold it. “You did it!” I squeak. It’s a marriage license. He’s been promising this for months. I hug him as Guillermo stalks up, ready to chew me out. “We’re getting married!” I say. Guillermo brightens. I know he’s embarrassed to have an unmarried pregnant nineteen year old girl working in his restaurant.

“I gotta go back to work,” Damon grins, picking me up and twirling me around. “I’ll see ya at home.”  I’m so excited that I can’t stop grinning. “Mirna, I’m getting married!,” I tell her as I pick up my order. She glares, then softens. “Good,” she says finally, “that baby need family, he innocent, he don’t know no better.”  Continue reading

Mister cracks open the door to see if I’m ready to leave yet.

“Are you ready… hey, what’s that?” he asks, catching a flash of white and pink. Quickly, I close my robe. “Nothing for you to see right now,” I tease, pushing the door shut. “Let me finish getting dressed, we’ll miss the movie.”

I catch him glancing at me throughout the day. His hand snakes down the back of my jeans as I lean over to take a closer look at something in a store. “Uh uh,” I stand up and bat his hand away, “Later.” At the movie, I cover my lap with my jacket and unzip my pants. I guide his hand down to my crotch. “Oooh…bald,” he whispers as he rubs my pussy, “very nice.” I gently pull his hand away before he can work his fingers into my pussy. “Save it for later,” I whisper back.

By the time we get back to my house, Mister is in a frenzy. I had to convince him at least twice to not pull the car over on the way home. “Wait in there,” I point at my bedroom. “Hey, who’s the Dom here?” he asks with a smile. “Just go,” I point again, “I’ll be there in a sec.” I dash into the bathroom and wash all my makeup off , then I work my hair into two perky ponytails.  Continue reading

“Happy Birthday,” Theo wraps me in a hug.

“Do I get a spanking?” I tease, turning around to present my ass. “This will be better,” he promises, an evil twinkle in eyes.

We’ve had a bit of a lull in our sex life, the long winter and gray January days have dulled our senses. It’s hard to feel sexy under bulky layers of shirts and sweaters. I haven’t even shaved my legs in weeks, so whatever Theo has in store is a welcome change.

“Go clean up,” Theo instructs, “then it’ll be time for your present.” I indulge in a long hot shower, making sure to shave and pluck every stray hair. When I’m done, lavender scented steam rolls out of the bathroom. My hair hangs wet and loose, the way Theo likes it. I haven’t put on any deodorant, knowing that he likes to lick and bite under my arms. “You smell so good,” he says, parting my robe and resting his head against my damp belly. We nuzzle for a moment while he inhales my scent. Finally, he pulls away.

“Stand in the middle of the room,” he says. I reluctantly take off my robe and let it drop to the floor. The heat’s turned up, but I still shiver a bit.  “Now,” Theo says, circling me, “what should I do to you first?”  Continue reading

“Ow,” Theo says over his shoulder. “I don’t think I like this.”

I ease the speculum out of his ass. “Well,” he says, flipping over on his back, “that was disappointing.” I sigh. We’ve been really looking forward to playing with our newest toy. Theo is an ass whore. He’s let me fist him, lick him, even stick my foot in there, but not without lots of preparation. I was hoping the speculum would let us skip over a few steps. “Did it hurt?” I ask. “Just a little,” he says. “You’re hands aren’t very steady, it was too pinchy.”

I look at the device as I wash it off, cranking it open to it’s full width. I love ass play, although it takes me forever to even work in a little butt plug. I’m intrigued, even through it looks more than a little intimidating.  “Would you like to try it on me?” I ask Theo shyly. “Really?” he smiles, “Okay!”

As I get on my knees, he hands me the vibrator. “A little something to take your mind off things,” he says. I click the vibe on and press it to my clit. “Stay very still,” he instructs. I smell the warm plasticky scent of  the lube as he scoops it out of the little tub. He rubs a cold glob over my asshole, which makes me jump a little.  Continue reading

As we dress for the club, Mister simply says “No panties.”

He doesn’t elaborate.  It unnerves me to wear even less than the fishnet top and the teensy black skirt I have on. Mister gestures towards the pair of fishnets in my hand. I pass them over, he rips a hole in the crotch, then gives them back to me. I wriggle into them, then pull on a pair of black knee high boots. Mister fastens a belt made of restraint cables around his black kilt. A little rubber whip dangles from one side. “Let’s go,” says Mister.

The club is packed. Music throbs like a giant heartbeat, the cigarette smoke swells and recedes like a collective deep breath. Mister heads for the bar, knowing to bring me a vodka and cranberry juice. I stand in the corner alone and wait, still feeling shy after years of being nothing but background noise. Odd to think only a year ago leaving the top button on my blouse open felt too revealing.

Mister sneaks up behind a short pretty blonde at the bar, yanking her hair hard. She turns angrily to see Mister standing there. She brightens,  kissing him long and deep as he runs his hands across her breasts. The bartender stands there a moment holding the drinks, then sets them on the bar, moving on. Mister talks to the blonde a moment, gestures towards me, grabs the drinks and leaves. Continue reading

I call Dave at work and tell him I have a flat tire.

He’s the only one I can think of that might be able to leave work to come help me. I occasionally fuck his boss, so it shouldn’t be a problem for him to leave. I tell him I’m stuck. I need help with the flat, but I’m broke. I don’t even own a jack. I’m stranded in the next town over after a one night stand and I need to get to work. I know what it’ll cost, but I’m hoping he won’t ask.

“You know what I want,” he breathes into the phone. He’s been trying to fuck me for months, but I keep dodging him. Dave has a bit of a reputation for his fucking abilities, he’s got girls lined up to sleep with him, but I’m not attracted to him. It drives him crazy and he won’t stop hounding me.

“Fine,” I huff, considering my limited options.  “Just get over here.”

I sit on the curb and chain smoke cigarettes for the next half hour. Dave pulls up, dressed in a suit and tie. I watch him neatly fold his jacket and place it in his van. He leers at me and I make a face. I ask him if his boss gave him any shit about leaving, Dave says I owe his boss one too. “Tell him it won’t be today, ” I sigh, “I gotta get to work.” Continue reading

I tell Theo if he wants me to fuck his ass, he needs to suck my cock first.

He obediently crawls across the bed, looking at me like a tiger ready to pounce on fresh meat. I brush the mass of curls away from his eyes, pushing his head towards the big red dildo protruding from my pussy. Eagerly, he licks the tip, then takes the whole cock into his mouth. I gasp, I can feel the end inside me pushing against all the right places. I tell him he might suck dick better than I do. Theo laughs and says he’s had a lot of practice, which sends an electric surge straight to my pussy.

Idly, I watch him blow me for a while, then I ask if there’s any foreplay he wants. Theo tells me he would love it if I lick his ass. I’ve never done that before, it’s one of the rare things that I consider taboo. I hesitate, but his excitement overrides my apprehension. We showered together right before we came into the bedroom, so I know he’s clean. I tell him maybe, but  I want to scope it out a bit first. Theo gets on his knees, resting his head against a stack of pillows. I spread his ass cheeks and sniff, trying not to giggle. I kiss his balls, his buttocks, working into the idea. I moisten a finger tip and rub the pink creases surrounding his anus. Theo shudders with pleasure. I tentatively give his ass a flick with my tongue. So far, so good. Continue reading

Much to everyone’s surprise, especially mine, I’ve become a suburban housewife.

When JD proposed, I accepted. I thought why the hell not, I’ve tried every other type of lifestyle. We have a little suburban house in a liberal college town. Now I decorate the yard according to the appropriate holiday, an inflatable turkey for Thanksgiving, enough Christmas lights to blind an airplane landing in the next city. We eat at Applebee’s on Friday nights. The bills get paid and I’ve finally found a brand of kitty litter/dishwashing liquid/paper towel that suits my busy modern lifestyle.

I know I’ve settled. JD weighs over 400 lbs and he’s not very interesting, but he’s nice. After a string of disastrous relationships, he seems stable and reliable. I’m not unattracted to him. He works two jobs, so he isn’t home much, and when he is, he’s watching sitcoms. I work 50 hours in an office and work on my nursing degree at night. We get along.

The logistics of having sex with JD are not complicated. The rare times we do have sex, I’m on top. It’s all very vanilla and perfunctory, especially considering that I wanted my last partner to hold a gun to my head while we fucked. I haven’t told JD very much about my past, sex-wise. When I try to, he says I’m not that person anymore and he doesn’t need to know.

One night after too many watery Margaritas from Chi Chi’s, JD says he has a confession. He asks me to turn the light off because he can’t even look at me while he tells me this. It’s been weighing on him, not telling me this.

Taking a deep breath, he tells me when his friend Jeff had his bachelor party, they all went to a strip club somewhere around Detroit,  then they went to an Asian massage parlor. There were prostitutes there, and he didn’t know that they were going to go. He swears. But they had a few beers first, he didn’t know what he was thinking, so he went in too. He confesses he got a blow job, but she put a condom on him before she blew him.

“That’s it?” I ask. “How long ago was this?”

“Eight years,” he stammers. He sits in silence waiting for my terrible judgement.

“That’s the single most interesting thing you’ve ever told me,” I say. “Let’s fuck.”

Ten stories about 20 years

1. I’m twelve years old the first time I meet Alan. His best friend Cliff is my first boyfriend, my first kiss. We’re all in 7th grade. The three of us are inseparable. Cliff is tall and serious. Alan is his sidekick, too loud, too fat, too obnoxious, too-much-of-everything. Cliff and I will drift apart, but Alan will become the single thread that weaves in and out of my life for the next twenty years.

2. We’re sophomores in high school. I’m still in love with Cliff, even though we broke up in 8th grade. I lost my virginity at the beginning of the school year. I have a taste for sex now, and I want Cliff , he should have been the one I lost it with. Alan wants me. Alan is the only one of us with a car, and he refuses to pick me up unless I agree to fuck both of them. I fuck Alan first, just to shut him up, and the bed cracks. He pouts outside in the car while I give Cliff a blowjob, honking the horn and flashing the car lights on and off through the bedroom window. Next year Alan and Cliff will get in a terrible fight and never speak again, and neither one will ever tell me exactly what happened.

3. I’m downtown with my friends. We all look alike, big hair and tight jeans. We sneak sips of Southern Comfort from a can of Coke that we pass back and forth. There’s a party that’s supposed to be cool, so we go.  I immediately spot Alan. He’s lean. He looks shiny and muscular. He says he’s in the Air Force and he’s on leave. I can’t take my eyes off him. I follow him to the house where he’s staying, and we drink beer and play quarters with his buddies. I go outside for air and lay on the hammock, but I’m so drunk that I flip right off. Alan carries me upstairs and we fuck so loud that they crank up the stereo downstairs to drown us out. Continue reading