It’s hour six

…of my thirteen hour drive to Kansas City. It’s really a booty call, but I convince myself it’s love. I’ve known Alan since the first week of junior high. In high school he was always my second choice. I was in love with his best friend. Now I am obsessed and desperate. Alan’s learned to dangle the proverbial carrot, I fall for it every time.

I’ve driven to Fort Wayne, Terre Haute and Grand Rapids, to budget motels that advertise kitchenettes and weekly rentals. I pull in as the sun sets. We spend a weekend in a decrepit camper, stoned on pot and muscle relaxers. He’s beginning a bad alcohol habit, he sweats beer. The camper is cramped and smoky. A thunderstorm shakes the earth like a herd of running dinosaurs. He fucks me and I make love to him.

Alan will never tell me that he loves me until it’s too late. After this weekend he stops calling and moves away. I won’t see him again for ten years.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s